tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25578039207500146442024-02-20T12:54:55.603-08:00Stormy WeatherStormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557803920750014644.post-7395041891790777202011-04-23T10:08:00.000-07:002011-04-23T10:08:59.459-07:00Rededicate to the life you deserve.<i>You and I possess<br />
within ourselves,<br />
of every moment of our lives,<br />
under all circumstances,<br />
the power to transform<br />
the quality of our lives.</i><br />
<br />
That is something my mother and father have told me since I was little and first able to understand. It came from a training they both had attended before I was born, but it holds true even now, thirty + years later. I have to believe in this, in everything it means as I fight through what's holding me here.<br />
<br />
It's been months since I last posted, and months since I actually cared about myself enough to work on my journey. My last post was right before I got the flu, and I lost the resolve I'd been carrying with me. I'm not sure what happened, really. I just couldn't seem to bring myself to care, to journal, to track, and measure my food, to exercise and walk. I really don't know. And I started gaining, slowly at first. But now...now I'm up again. Thankfully, I haven't gotten back to the 270s, but it came damn close. At my WW meeting today, the first in months, I was 269.6. Like I said, really close. *sigh* But I'm ready to fight again. Even if I feel like crap, I can't let myself revert.<br />
<br />
I've been sick for the last two months with different things. The flu (again), then came horrendous cramps, then laryngitis (yeah that was fun), then I had a latex exposure (from a doctor's visit that I now have to consider suing them over - which isn't like me, but they put me through hell and I have to fight for myself, even with this), and then cramps again and last it seems I'm going through a secondary exposure to the latex OR I'm addicted to the benadryl I've had to take steadily for 3 weeks and was going through a detox (still iffy on that one). So, yeah, I ended up gaining back 17 pounds or so. I'm not happy with this, but I'm facing it, which is why I'm journaling again.<br />
<br />
I feel like hell. I'm exhausted, in pain, headache, everything. I don't really feel like I'm depressed, but who knows at this point. All I know is I was feeling amazing just a few months ago. I was so proud of the work I was doing. And I let it all go. So, I have to fight through the feeling like crap, I have to choose that I am worth the fight. I think that's the hardest part...allowing myself to know that I am worthy, that I am worth the fight and the pain and the frustration to get to the place where I was happy and enjoying life. <br />
<br />
I was knitting and looking at doing some Steampunk jewelry making. I was walking and hanging out with my girlfriends. And now, I'm back to being too exhausted to do any of that. It's ridiculous really. I deserve to be happy. <br />
<br />
And on the eve of my niece being born, I want to grab that happiness. I can't be a good influence in her life if I can't see the good in me. So, I'm going to fight through all this crap to get to the joy beyond. I can do this. For Natalie. For myself.Stormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557803920750014644.post-26758667272501638722010-10-30T13:42:00.000-07:002010-10-30T13:43:05.801-07:00We'll walk this road together, through the storm <div style="text-align: center;"><object height="295" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/j5-yKhDd64s?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/j5-yKhDd64s?fs=1&hl=en_US" width="480" height="295" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div><br />
</div><div>Another Saturday, another victory. </div><div><br />
</div><div>On the way to my weigh-in, Eminem's song "Not Afraid" came on the radio. And it couldn't have been any more appropriate. (Side note - I never really liked his stuff before. But really dig it since he got cleaned up. Anyone who knows me, knows how eclectic my music taste really is.) </div><div><br />
</div><div>I'm not afraid. I'm no longer afraid of what the future might bring, afraid of wasting the present, afraid of what used to be in my past. I am strong. I am clean. I am loved. I am strong. I got cleaned up; not from drugs or alcohol, but from my food addiction, though I fight with it everyday. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I wish I could accurately share with you what I'm feeling right now, how wondrous and glorious my heart beats, how much love and happiness is coursing through me. I wish I could take out whatever is making me so bouncy and giggly and strong and inject it into others so that I could share these feelings. But instead, I blog and share music and talk to whomever needs to talk on IM and listen when my words aren't needed. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I made it through an incredibly stressful week; taking 130 kids on a field trip was just a tad bit stressful, including the teachers who weren't all being very helpful, but more of a hinderance. And instead of eating my stress like I would have normally (and really wanted to btw), I took it out on my elliptical. I'm up to 20 minutes now. :)</div><div><br />
</div><div>And it was all worth it. I weighed in this morning. I'M DOWN 5 MORE POUNDS!!!!!!! For a total of 10.8 in the last three weeks. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Blessings and here's to another great week!</div><div><br />
</div><div>Love and Laughter,</div><div>Stormy</div><div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>I'm not afraid to take a stand <br />
Everybody come take my hand <br />
We'll walk this road together, through the storm <br />
Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone <br />
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>Yeah, It's been a ride... I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one <br />
Now some of you might still be in that place <br />
If you're trying to get out, just follow me <br />
I'll get you there <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em <br />
But you won't take this thing out these words before I say 'em <br />
Cause ain't no way I'm let you stop me from causing mayhem <br />
When I say 'em or do something I do it, I don't give a damn <br />
What you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world <br />
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if a thing's stopping me <br />
I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly <br />
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony <br />
No if ands or buts don't try to ask him why or how can he <br />
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he's still shit'n <br />
Whether he's on salary, paid hourly <br />
Until he bows out or he shit's his bowels out of him <br />
Whichever comes first, for better or worse <br />
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for christmas <br />
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he's got the urge <br />
To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the universe <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>I'm not afraid to take a stand <br />
Everybody come take my hand <br />
We'll walk this road together, through the storm <br />
Whatever weather, cold or warm <br />
Just let you know that, you're not alone <br />
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>Ok quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap <br />
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap <br />
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth <br />
For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped <br />
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back <br />
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact <br />
Let's be honest, that last Relapse CD was "ehhhh" <br />
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground </i><b><i><br />
</i> </b><i>Relax, I ain't going back to that now <br />
All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW <br />
Cause I ain't playin' around <br />
There's a game called circle and I don't know how <br />
I'm way too up to back down <br />
But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out <br />
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't <br />
This fucking black cloud still follow's me around <br />
But it's time to exercise these demons <br />
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now! <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>I'm not afraid to take a stand <br />
Everybody come take my hand <br />
We'll walk this road together, through the storm <br />
Whatever weather, cold or warm <br />
Just let you know that, you're not alone <br />
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>And I just can't keep living this way <br />
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage <br />
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons <br />
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground <br />
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up <br />
Time to put my life back together right now<o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i>It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me <br />
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you <br />
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through <br />
And don't even realise what you did, believe me you <br />
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger <br />
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of <br />
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead <br />
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise <br />
To focus soley on handling my responsibility's as a father <br />
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it <br />
You couldn't lift a single shingle on it <br />
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club <br />
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up <br />
Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon <br />
But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and <o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri;"><i> I'm not afraid to take a stand <br />
Everybody come take my hand <br />
We'll walk this road together, through the storm <br />
Whatever weather, cold or warm <br />
Just let you know that, you're not alone <br />
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road</i><o:p></o:p></span></div></div>Stormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557803920750014644.post-52996511903727021592010-10-25T21:12:00.001-07:002010-10-25T21:22:39.269-07:00It took a crash to understandAnother Monday. Another start to another week. Only this one leads up to a major event for my students. And major work for me, LOL.<br />
<br />
I'm left to wonder why this time is different than so many times before. What happened inside of me that everything finally clicked. It was time. Live or Die. <br />
<br />
So much has changed in the last few months. I finally, after over five years, believe I am a good teacher, that what I do matters, that where I am is where I am supposed to be. Before, growing up, I hated the town I now teach in. It's a home of drugs and violence, gangs and poverty, prostitution and desperation. But it is in this place, I find my purpose. Fate, I suppose.<br />
<br />
I was also saved a year ago; saved by my brother, ironically. I say ironically because that night was the first time he had ever apologized to me. Long story, and not really important in this moment. But he let me ask all kinds of questions, questions that had bugged me and plagued me about God and religion and all the things I've had problems with. My brother talked to me like an adult, not talked down to me like so many times in the past. And I listened to him like he was an adult, not my little brother. And I felt at peace. True peace for the first time in my almost 30 years. We stayed up until 2am; my brother, his wife and I (though she kind of fell asleep...poor M). At the end, I asked if he had a Bible I could use, and he gave me one. I still have it on my night stand. And I read it a few times a week. <br />
<br />
I'm not a big Bible thumper. I believe what I believe, am in search of a church near me where I feel like I belong (one that would be big with music and love), and all I ask of those around me is to respect my beliefs. I hate it when people try to force their opinion/belief/faith onto me. I'm an intelligent, educated, well-read woman. And I believe in God, in a higher power, in a being who has a design and a plan. You may choose to believe, you may not. But don't treat me like an idiot.<br />
<br />
I think that is the reason why this time is different. Why this time I get up and make my lunch and set up my breakfast every night. Why I have stayed away from fast food and junk food for almost 2 1/2 weeks. Why I am able this time to fight my addiction. <br />
<br />
I am truly blessed by God, my family, my friends, and all the blessings I have found through struggle and success.<br />
<br />
Love and Laughter,<br />
StormyStormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557803920750014644.post-88494156316094900692010-10-23T19:14:00.000-07:002010-10-23T19:14:48.954-07:00Where My Heart Takes MeI know it's been awhile. Went to the beach for a week with NO internet and hardly any cell phone coverage. Sporadic at best. It was amazing. Had an AMAZING time. But then something...significant happened to me.<br />
<br />
During the entire week, I had been eating fairly healthy (except for a TicTac mini chocolate bar every now and then). Even walked for over an hour on the beach every day with my dog (which was heavenly!!). But in the back of my mind, thoughts of food (pizza, ice cream, chips) were my constant companion. I knew the moment my folks left to go home and take my grandma back to her home, that my time was open to eat what I wanted. <br />
<br />
A few hours after they left, I packed my dog up in my car and took off for the nearest town, about 30 minutes away. I got a bunch of different 'appetizers' to bake in the oven - onion rings, buffalo wings, etc - ice cream, and a pizza from the best pizza place I've ever had. During this shopping excursion, I even grabbed some McDonald's. Took it all back to the house, with every intention of gorging the crap out of myself.<br />
<br />
Put the stuff in the freezer or the oven, depending, and proceeded to have a panic attack. Something inside of me KNEW what I was doing was the worst thing. I was crying, couldn't catch my breath, and started calling out for someone to help me, calling out to Jesus. It was...my lowest point. I knew that it was now or never. Called my mom up (even though I'm 30, she can still calm me when we talk) and I came to some conclusions.<br />
<br />
I can't do this by myself. I need some support. I am a food addict. While it's not drugs, alcohol or sex, this addiction will kill me. I had to get some counseling, find a group or something. I've tried OA before, but it was a little creepy (only one woman who was a bit...odd). And in the end of the conversation with my Mom, <b><u>I threw ALL of the food away</u></b>. All $70+ of it. And I almost threw up after. My body was shaking, and the desperation was just leaking out of me. It was just awful. And I never want to feel that way again. I never want to feel that out of control of my life, of myself.<br />
<br />
When I came home, I joined Weight Watchers the next day. Literally. I came home on Friday and joined on Saturday morning. I just completed my second week.<br />
<br />
I haven't touched, gone near or inside of a fast food join since that Friday. No junk food or anything that could poison my body. And I've been doing so well following the WW program. I feel better, cleaner. My hair is shiny, my skin is glowing, and I'm down 5.8 pounds; 5 pounds the first week, .8 this week (which is totally awesome 'cause I'm also on my period. I usually gain 3-5 pounds, so I'll take a .8 loss!!!). <br />
<br />
With this change...I wish I could describe how amazing I feel, how truly happy I am. I'm looking forward to the journey, to my path to happiness, to loving myself. I'm looking forward to heading up to Seattle for New Years Eve and Portland next summer for a friend's wedding. I'm going wear a summer dress and dance and flirt with some cute boys. I'm going to run a marathon with my friend, go out dancing at a salsa club. I'm going to India to see the Taj Mahal, have a baby one day. <br />
<br />
From the lowest point in my life, I'm finding my way back. And it's amazing. I am blessed by God and everyone to have come to this point.<br />
<br />
Love and Laughter,<br />
StormyStormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557803920750014644.post-83408236646314650902010-09-26T10:34:00.000-07:002010-09-26T10:40:43.371-07:00Waking Up to a New Day<div style="text-align: center;"><object height="295" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PusyhO-xANg?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PusyhO-xANg?fs=1&hl=en_US" width="480" height="295" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It definitely feels like a<b> new day</b> for me. When I went to bed, I was amazed at how one word, one tweet, could make my mood change from optimistic to depressed. So, I changed the position of my sleep to change my headspace (laid my head where my feet usually go) and woke up in a much more positive mood. (I don't know why that works, but it does.) I'm ready to make these changes, to wake up to a new day.</div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I got up and did 15 minutes on my elliptical, ate a healthy breakfast of honeydew, yogurt and a whole grain Eggo waffle with honey. Normally, I don't eat and never exercise. While these don't seem like drastic changes, they're signs of something different in me. I'm ready for this new day.</div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"></span></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Before the light I found the dark</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Before tonight I feel apart</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Frozen up I’ve realized that something’s gotta change</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>It took a crash to understand</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Time kept slipping through my hands</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I never used to know</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>The sun will shine after the rain</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was before</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Say hello, say hello to a new way</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was lost, but I found what</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was looking for</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Waking up, waking up to a new day</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>A new day</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was sleeping in a twisted dream</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Dying just to make believe</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>A pretty situation was far from where I was</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>But I’m not up for giving up</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Lying down and out of luck</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>My mistakes are in the open and know I’m finally coming clean</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was before</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Say hello, say hello to a new way</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was lost, but I found what</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was looking for</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Waking up, waking up to a new day</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>A new day</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Cause everything, everything</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>ends at the start</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I’m healing and feeling all of my scars </i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was before</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Say hello, say hello to a new way</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was lost, but I found what</i></div></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
</i></div></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>I was looking for</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>Waking up, waking up to a new day</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i>A new day</i></div></div></div>Stormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2557803920750014644.post-80452120825941510672010-09-25T21:56:00.001-07:002010-09-26T10:40:55.471-07:00Stormy Weather<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hey there. I'm Stormy, and I guess it's about time I introduced myself.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521036985585912098" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ6p4v2kSSI/AAAAAAAAABY/mKp8HwSceJM/s320/DSCN3112.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; height: 320px; width: 240px;" /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Current Stats</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">:</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">AGE: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">30</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">WEIGHT: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">272.2 lbs. (yes, I'm that specific)</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">HEIGHT:</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> 5' 8'<br />
<br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">SHIRT SIZE: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">3X (which can sometime be on the tight side, usually do to the boobs)<br />
<br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">PANT SIZE: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">26<br />
<br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">CURRENT LEVEL OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">nothing on purpose, really. I've been doing my teaching thing and that's taken up quite a bit of time. But I'm walking and on the elliptical tomorrow. ;-)<br />
<br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">CURRENT DIET: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">That's kind of an influx thing. I've been addicted to fast food/junk food for so long, which is my path to destruction, really. But I gave that up about two months ago. And instead of trying to work through that addition, I ended up shopping too much and spending too much money, which stopped me from going on a trip I was looking for (which, ironically, was supposed to be this weekend). That, of course, sent me back to fast food. *sigh*</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">This is a pic of me from Paley Fest in LA last year with a couple of my good friends from the NCIS fandom. I was supposed to be with them this weekend.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ7OpqXJ8AI/AAAAAAAAABo/3LsnNlyTKiA/s1600/DSCN1258.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521077408344174594" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ7OpqXJ8AI/AAAAAAAAABo/3LsnNlyTKiA/s320/DSCN1258.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; height: 240px; width: 320px;" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">WEIGHT LOSS HISTORY: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I haven't always had a weight problem, per se. But I've had issues with my body, my body image, my self-esteem for forever. I do remember my Mom talking when I was a kid about her own weight issues and being super focused on her weight (she's very regimented with her own body). But that's about it, weight-wise. My dad is overweight, my brother's own weight fluctuates (though he's on the more in-shape side of life), and my grandmother is anorexic and HATES my being fat. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I have, however, had great issues with food, and, as I just before, my self-esteem.</span></b></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I had a hard childhood. Not because of family (great, healthy - as possible - family life), not because of abuse, but because </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I really shouldn't be alive</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. I was born with an immune deficiency and spent most of my beginning years/life in and out of hospitals. I was/am allergic to a lot of foods, and my parents had to watch me basically starve to death, unable to help me. Out of desperation, my mom gave me a McDonald's french fry, and I kept it down. So, she fed them to me. (Thus, began my love of french fries, btw.) And that's when I started to equate eating with surviving. Every time I feel threatened in some way, I eat. I eat when I'm depressed, when I'm scared, when I'm lonely, when I'm brokenhearted, when I'm lost, when I feel my survival threatened in some way. So, now I have to break that survival instinct. Continuing on...</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">As I got older, hit puberty, and started to develop. Even at 135-140, I had a size 36D chest and wasn't super skinny. I've been taller and chesty since I was 9 (which created interesting issues with the other kids). Didn't start dating until I was 16, and my first boyfriend ended up being emotional abusive. I have beaten that horse to death and am I really okay now with what has happened with him. But that is when I started to eat. And eat A LOT. But this is me, at about 160-180 (don't really remember) and 18, going to a concert to see a friend.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ7MlTul1NI/AAAAAAAAABg/-MzrRk55j5Y/s1600/l_ac5514b9ee85dd0f9ac66f1112c4fdd8.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521075134525723858" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ7MlTul1NI/AAAAAAAAABg/-MzrRk55j5Y/s320/l_ac5514b9ee85dd0f9ac66f1112c4fdd8.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; height: 320px; width: 234px;" /></a></span></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Man, I was hot. But WHY did I think I was fat and ugly? I still can't explain it.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Moving on into college, I had a desperate, unfulfilled need to belong, and kept eating. Graduated, got my credential and my first teaching job, and my weight was around 230. I started doing Shou' Shu', a form of karate, and LOVED it. Did really well too. Lost weight, down to 200, and was feeling really good about myself and my life. Had my first boyfriend in 10 years. Then all hell crashed down.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Because of the political game I could never play well, my principal at my first job opted to not rehire me. *sigh*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"> I put my entire life into that job, my entire self-worth was tied up into it. And to lose it...I lost myself. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;">The stress of that - having to continue to teach, take my bands (I'm a music teacher) on tour/competition - gave me a stomach condition, IBS. That prevented me from testing for my black belt. And I also lost my boyfriend during that time. Needless to say, the survival instinct kicked in, and I started to eat.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Since then, I moved back to my home town, got a new job, some new friends, and am starting a new life. Which leads me here. I chose the name Stormy for this because that's me. I'm strong and independent, a nice girl most of the time, hot tempered when needed, and generally unpredictable, even to myself.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I had to post one last picture of me and my dog Niko. He literally saved my life. After moving back home, I was crying. A LOT. And at one point thought it would just be easier to have it all just be over. But then I looked at him and knew I couldn't leave him behind. So, I stayed. And I'm fighting, Stormy Weather and all.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: normal;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ7Pc5cnUOI/AAAAAAAAABw/GBzVeZomIig/s1600/Me+and+Niko.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521078288566931682" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DlrOUNvOeVI/TJ7Pc5cnUOI/AAAAAAAAABw/GBzVeZomIig/s320/Me+and+Niko.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; height: 240px; width: 320px;" /></a></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">WEIGHT LOSS PLAN: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I have tried literally almost EVERY diet plan out there: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins. You name it, and I've tried it or some version. And the one thing I discovered is that there is no diet, there is no club, there is no one out there you pay money to that will magically give you the ability to lose the weight you have been fighting with your entire life. The one thing that all of these experiences, all of this money spent, has taught me is that </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">the change has to come from within</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> have to make the right choices. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> have to eat correctly. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> know what is needed and what is expected of me. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> have to make the decision that </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I am worth being the healthiest and most beautiful person I can be, inside and outside</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">With this in mind, my goal is to make good, healthy choices, to eat small portions 4-5 times a day to keep my metabolism up and running, to not eat fast food, to limit to almost nil the amount of junk food I allow into my body (I can't, however, be responsible for the ice cream/pizza cravings I get once a month. :P). I'm going to do what I know I have to do.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">LONG-TERM GOAL: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">First, I have a 132 lbs. to lose for a final weight of 140 </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">lbs. Second, I have to learn to love myself.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />
</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">SHORT-TERM GOAL: </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">For the next two weeks, since I'm on vacation, I'm going to up my exercising; increase my walking and time on the elliptical.</span></span></div>Stormyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16579344281917972706noreply@blogger.com0